Getting Even

Blog 4-9-09

I have two kids. There’s the little one and there’s the big liar.

The big liar worries me and I’m mad at him for that. The only way I seem to be able to not scream at him like I want to do is to get creative. And by “get creative” I mean get even.  I find little ways to get even.  The littler the better.

My most recent creativity is to walk by the bathroom door when he’s in there on the toilet and jiggle the knob like I’m gonna walk in. The door doesn’t lock so it’s a real threat. “Hey, hey, hey, I’m in here.” I smile and try not to laugh. I do it again a minute later on my way back into the kitchen. “Jesus! Someone’s in here.” Now it’s not him, it’s someone. Gee, could that someone be you, the liar? Is the liar having a moment of truth? Did someone almost see you on the toilet?

I’ll admit, after that one I did have a moment of feeling sorry for him or maybe it was the onions I was cutting. All I know is that I got a warm feeling inside and the anger was gone. Getting even takes the edge off.

It’s not something I’m proud of. My higher self tells me I’m being a baby and I’m supposed to be teaching my kids and what does that teach him?  And to my higher self I say, “C’mon. Didn’t you feel joy when you heard the “Jesus I’m in here” line?  Don’t you feel like a weight has been lifted? Look, I’m not mad at him anymore.” 

What is wrong with getting even when it’s so beneficial to me? It’s good for my health because it’s a great stress reliever, and no one gets hurt? It’s like money in the bank because the next time he lies, cheats, deceives or sneaks I react more calmly knowing he’ll have to use the bathroom sooner or later. I highly recommend getting even. I mean creative.